After the tapped a journeyman director with no artistic style of his own and the made a number of questionable (at best) casting decisions, Paramount has completely killed my enthusiasm for the G.I. Joe movie by casting Marlon Wayans as Ripcord. They’ve also apparently promoted Ripcord from just a member of the team to, if Variety is correct, the Joe leader.
Here’s a better idea: Go to the house of everyone who used to play with G.I. Joe toys, tie those people up in the backyard and then burn the action figures while screwing the girl the collector had a crush on in junior high school.
The latter might actually be less emotionally traumatic than seeing the co-star of White Chicks lead the Joe team.