(Title used with apologies to Feedburner)
Question: Chris, why didn’t you publish a column reviewing the marketing campaign for Coraline? Seems like a movie you would have enjoyed tackling, especially since your brother-in-law repeatedly sent you emails with links to materials to include. What up with that?
Answer: You’re absolutely right. As a matter of fact I had a column about one-third finished but just couldn’t make it come together. It’s one of those that I just couldn’t fully wrap my head around and fully embrace. It happens sometimes, even with movies I’m excited about. But apparently I had no problem embracing the He’s Just Not That Into You or the Confessions of a Shopaholic campaigns. Go figure.
Question: Does this mean I can slap you repeatedly about the head next time I see you.
Question: Does this mean you’re an un-dedicated slacker who can’t be bothered to muster up enough energy to even try to please your readers? Follow-up question: Can I get my money back?
Answer: Yes. It also means I found it easier to go for cheap laughs at the expense of big, bloated campaigns than to try to analyze a movie with some heart and soul. And no, all transactions are non-refundable.
Question: Well at least there will be a handful of new columns to tide us over during the next couple weeks, right?
Answer: Actually no. If you noticed I haven’t published any columns this week and probably won’t next week either. The movies on the schedule just weren’t that exciting. Plus, I’m already starting to work on the bloated beast that will be my Watchmen column, so you’re just going to have to wait a couple weeks.
Question: Are you serious?
NO FURTHER QUESTIONS!